Squatters

Squatting has been a part of Pilipino life for a very long time. I don’t know the history, but it seems likely that it has always been that way. There didn’t exist any other way to do it, I suppose.

I’m not sure why so many people have difficulty knowing how to handle this situation. I have the obvious answer.

Toilet seats. What, you thought I was talking about another kind of squatting? I’m afraid I don’t have any one-size-fits-all answer for that problem, but if your squatting problem involves using the toilet, I’m pretty sure the toilet seat will fix it. It did for me.

You see, I have not perfected the art of squatting over a toilet bowl and doing my job. It is really uncomfortable for me, and if I am able to accomplish any results, they are often much less than I could if I were able to sit and really work at it.

I can only assume that many people here prefer the squat instead of sitting, as there are many unseated toilet bowls around still. Toilet seats are readily available, as I can attest to, having surveyed the various hardware stores for one on my last visit. The quality leaves much to be desired, but they are easy to find.

In conjunction with the toilet bowl that doesn’t contain a seat, you will often encounter the lack of a tank to flush with. I find the lack of a tank to be much less of a problem than the lack of a seat. I really don’t mind plopping a few buckets of water into the bowl to get it to fully flush. Maybe not as convenient as what I am used to, but really not a problem at all. No, it’s the squatting I have difficulty with.

Maybe it’s just my age, The lack of balance. More probably it’s the lack of proper technique. Hey, I’m learning the language (slowly), maybe I should take the time to learn how to poop properly, too.

At least I’ve been able to find toilet paper pretty much everywhere. Seems it is much more prevalent than when I first started coming to the Philippines. That’s another messy situation that I have not perfected – the “no toilet paper” wipe.

I’ve written some crappy articles in the past, but this may be among my stinkiest. Sorry po, maybe I’ll find a more refreshing subject this coming week.